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Pleasuring myself

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Once you've worked yourself into a mental lather, focus on your body. Levine suggests starting with a slow full-body self-massage.

You already know the one or two spots that can send you over the edge, but now is your chance to discover untapped sources of pleasure. Levine says to pay special attention to your neck, the back of your knees, your thighs, and your perineum, which is the stretch of skin between your vagina and anal opening.

After your massage, avoid falling into your time-worn getting-off pattern. Switch up your position, suggests Levine: If you always masturbate while lying on your back, try it on all fours, or sitting in a comfortable chair, or even standing, bent over a table or the bed.

Try kneeling as if you're straddling your partner. Variety is key to your sex life, so why shouldn't that extend to your self-love life? If you need more convincing, know this: By masturbating the same way every time, you might have more difficulty getting off when you're with a partner.

So stay flexible. Speaking of which, consider taking a yoga class and then getting it on with yourself as soon as you arrive home, says Levine.

In other words, yoga can diminish all those thoughts of your boss, your bank account, or whatever other worries might distract you.

Now, getting back to your vibrator. If yours is a trusty rabbit style, it might be time to introduce vibrator 2. Perhaps something that hits the doubted-by-scientists-but-not-by-women G-spot?

A rabbit is tailored to the clitoris. Draw a bath, climb in, and go to town. Aim the toy's curve toward your navel when you insert it—the G-spot is a couple of inches inside the vagina, on the front wall.

No problem, says Leigh, who is all for clitoral focus. It often requires an electrical outlet and can be noisy as all get-out. But if nothing else will get the job done, this will.

Of course, toys aren't everyone's cup of tea. And that's fine. All that matters is that you feel good. And if you're playing sexy music, massaging yourself, and writhing in a chair while feeling good, all the better.

It wasn't all that uncommon for him to get home from work and walk in on me doing it. He respects my autonomy by never pressuring me to join.

He might not know how deeply associated the act is with self-care, but he does understand my need for space and self-intimacy.

The freedom exists, but other things have changed. For example, I have noticed that while I still have the freedom to self-soothe the ups and downs of life with masturbation, I find myself doing it less frequently now.

When I started, I was a scared child with a limited range of expression and an even smaller sense of self. But now at nearly 30, I take pride in standing up for myself.

I do my best to face my traumas head-on in hopes that I will live a life that embraces my past without allowing it to block a well-adjusted future.

But I'm also not ashamed anymore. As an adult woman, I have granted myself full permission to use whatever I have in my toolkit to regulate myself emotionally.

I will not apologize, I will not feel shame, and I will use that tool for as long as it still serves a purpose. But who knows, the ending might come sooner than expected.

Life is hard, but it's better when you're not alone. Sign up for our newsletter and get our Self-Care and Solidarity eBook just because we love you!

Anonymous Erin Khar. I didn't fully process what I was doing, but the jokes I heard about women's sexuality in school made me ashamed of it.

I knew that when I meant the person who was right for me, they wouldn't be intimidated by my sexual relationship with myself.

I am both fortunate and thankful to have ended up with someone who does not think it is their job to control my sexuality. If you like this article, please share it!

Your clicks keep us alive! Articles You'll Love. Holiday Self-Care With Pets.

Pleasuring Myself Video

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It also wasn't surprising that fragile masculinity left them uncomfortable about being in a relationship with a girl who didn't depend on them to explore sexually.

Their comments led to furthering my shame and fear that I was more hypersexual than my peers. Good girls didn't learn sex young and weren't as interested as I was.

I knew I had to find a way to shed the stigma I felt as a sexual teen. By emerging adulthood, the act was more about the benefits of orgasm than sexual arousal.

Masturbating pulled me through heartbreak, college study sessions, and anxiety. When I started dating the man I'd later marry, things felt different from the beginning.

I explained my complicated sexual past early on, and he just listened to it. He never really tried to decode or make sense of why I was who I was- he just accepted where I was at the time.

Since we were in a long distance relationship, we started our sexual interactions on video chat. He was turned on by my comfort in pleasuring myself yet he never expected that I would only do it for his benefit.

Ironically, he defying stereotypes himself — he was never that big on masturbating. As our relationship grew through the years, it became common for us to casually discuss whether I used it as a tool to de-stress or out of arousal.

It wasn't all that uncommon for him to get home from work and walk in on me doing it. He respects my autonomy by never pressuring me to join.

Imagine yourself in a character's shoes to maximize the pleasure you get out of the videos or stories. Sometimes just your fingers aren't enough to get things going.

If you're looking to pleasure yourself better than a man can, consider investing in a few toys to help yourself along. Toys come in all shapes and sizes, literally.

You can get a vibrator the size of a tube of lipstick or a dildo bigger than any man you're going to meet, unless you're a very lucky woman.

If penetration is what you're looking for, find a toy that will treat you the way a man would, except you don't need a man to do it.

If all it takes to get you off is some intense vibration, pick a toy that will get you where you want to go.

Don't hesitate to ask the staff for suggestions - that's what they're there for! You're trying to maximize your own pleasure, so you want to make sure you're leaving the story with something you'll love.

There are a few household items that could potentially work as pleasure aids but tread cautiously. Make sure to always use a condom over your toy, especially if it's not specifically meant for sexual pleasure.

Plus, you can change up the type of condom and increase your pleasure. Go for ribbed to intensify the sensation. Maybe even adventure into different flavors to practice the perfect BJ in preparation for when you're not alone.

Keeping a few different toys tucked safely into your underwear drawer make for a quick and easy way to intensify your self-satisfaction. Toys ensure that even without a man, the intensity of intimacy is still possible!

Happy weekend everyone! I am totally loving how bright and welcoming could we ever call a Laundry welcoming?

A post shared by Susanna. T coastalhamptonstyle on Nov 3, at pm PDT. Live alone or have the house to yourself for a bit? Don't waste time by setting the mood just right in the bathroom or getting down and dirty with yourself between the sheets.

Try combining your least favorite household chores with your favorite form of pleasure. Washers and dryers are basically giant vibrators if you know how to use them right.

Throw your laundry in and start the cycle. When things get going, jump on top. Straddling the corner is the best position for the most pleasure, but just by sitting on top you'll get a great vibration going.

If you can get on the corner, grind yourself onto the cold and clean! Use your hands to pleasure yourself as you usually would. Make sure you don't only focus on the obvious places, too!

If your breasts are sensitive, this is the perfect position to pleasure yourself both on top and on the bottom.

If you can't sit on the corner, no worries. Spread your legs wide and go to town. The vibrations won't be as intense in this position, but you'll still be able to get the job done.

The same rule as above applies: give your whole body attention. Do what feels good. If that means penetration or squeezing your chest, do it.

And just like if you're alone in your room, don't be afraid to get loud. If you can't hear yourself over the rinse cycle, you're not being loud enough.

Washing cycle ended but you still want more? Levine says to pay special attention to your neck, the back of your knees, your thighs, and your perineum, which is the stretch of skin between your vagina and anal opening.

After your massage, avoid falling into your time-worn getting-off pattern. Switch up your position, suggests Levine: If you always masturbate while lying on your back, try it on all fours, or sitting in a comfortable chair, or even standing, bent over a table or the bed.

Try kneeling as if you're straddling your partner. Variety is key to your sex life, so why shouldn't that extend to your self-love life? If you need more convincing, know this: By masturbating the same way every time, you might have more difficulty getting off when you're with a partner.

So stay flexible. Speaking of which, consider taking a yoga class and then getting it on with yourself as soon as you arrive home, says Levine.

In other words, yoga can diminish all those thoughts of your boss, your bank account, or whatever other worries might distract you. Now, getting back to your vibrator.

If yours is a trusty rabbit style, it might be time to introduce vibrator 2. Perhaps something that hits the doubted-by-scientists-but-not-by-women G-spot?

A rabbit is tailored to the clitoris. Draw a bath, climb in, and go to town. Aim the toy's curve toward your navel when you insert it—the G-spot is a couple of inches inside the vagina, on the front wall.

No problem, says Leigh, who is all for clitoral focus.

Pleasuring myself

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